The pen is mightier than the sword.

Change of circumstances.
Change of opinions.
Change of beliefs.
Changed person?

Yes.

Much has changed. Summer has passed. Autumn is mid-way and I have literally just abandoned my blog...

I have lost a few loved ones, and in return well... I haven't gained any new people in my life. But, I have definitely generated more of an understanding for WHY people come and go and how we take from these experiences.

I've had to endure stresses this summer as per usual... nothing new there. But this year, I really have taken a lot from it. Many people that I thought were there for me... simply aren't. I've had one person re-enter my life, someone that's dear to me, it's like a long lost friend found. It's comforting.

They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Ditto... I agree. People change opinions by experiences and the lessons learnt from it, NOT by people forcing you to mould your opinion in certain way. Why do people not understand this concept? It is beyond me. But you know what? I'm glad I have had to bear these hardships. I am. Now I value the minority that are there for me even more and those that truly understand me as a person. Of course, not everyone in life will understand you, but such is life.

To think outside the box you have to first remove yourself from it.  We really do tend to define our options by the environment we find ourselves in. To truly be aware of our potential and set aside what is truly important, one must set aside the norms and search for the exceptions. And by that I mean, sadly there are those that are so entrenched in seeing negativity reap, that they leave no room for any positive growth. A lot of people like to stir up controversy in life, it's happened a lot to me in the past. But if you stay out of their drama and don't needlessly create your own, you can never buy in to their propaganda and outlandish antics, which is essentially what makes a person so emotionally drained. Trust me, I know.

Practice gratitude for both the good and the bad. Either way it's beneficial. 

Peace and love to all <3

Summery beginning.

I'm sitting outside the front porch. The sun is glimmering to it's full potential, there is warmth and a delicate breeze. I haven't felt this good with the sun out in a long time. But of course I am also accompanied with revising for physiology. Yeah, I'm slumbered with my books on this marvellous day. Sob sob. But I guess it's not so much of a disaster, the sun is still out.

I'm still a happy bunny!

I also done a little henna floral pattern on myself today. It's been eons since I done a design on myself, because I'm always busy doing it on others. It felt good though.

Good grief I am dreading the exam next Monday.. I'm back at uni on Tuesday as well. Honestly I do not know how a whole month of holidays has just fleeted by. I really did not get time to myself to just relax. It's the doleful chronicles mate. Hahaha

Anywhos, I just thought I'd write a quick post.

Back to hormone learning!
Farewell

Perplexed feelings.

I'm revising for my upcoming physiology exam in my room. The light should be on, but I've put the lamp on dim, and kept the balcony door open. It's mildly breezy and quite chilly actually - but most definitely refreshing.

I'm in a peculiar mood. It could be considered feeling mellow and chilled, or completely jaded. I'm not particulary sure. Or it could just simply be the cause of finding repetitive, daily tasks completely mundane. Ha. That's just the way I'm feeling right about now, an odd fusion of emotions.

I do love learning about biology and such and such. But today. Today, is just not the day. I feel to just push everything aside and BREATHE. Does that sound weird? Well I don't give a monkeys how it sounds. This blog is meant for me to update all my feelings and experiences whilst studying, and this is one of them.

You know what I feel to do? Stay awake until sunrise and just walk along Roundwood park and pelt bread pieces at the birds, breathe in fresh, smooth, dawn air. You know it's funny, my dad never failed to horde loafs of breads to every park we visited. Even though I have now just realised, dad was breaking the law and that it's illegal to feed the birds and ducks lol.

I have been really missing him today... more than is humanly possible.

I've only been to roundwood park thrice since dad passed away. The previous occasions I have done so, I feel overwhelmed with emptiness and sorrowful nostalgia returns. Every inch of that park has reoccurring memories. Fond, blissful memories. When I think of the future and the endless places I want to take my kids, this is always the first to sway at the top of the hierarchy. I hope to take my kids every weekend, just like my dad did with us. Definitely something I shall be doing, hopefully.

I don't know why I'm even talking about this. I wish I had something profound, or poignant to say. Perhaps even an anecdote to convey how 'one should refrain from being slumped with grief, with the loss of a loved one'. But I don't. The only thing I have to say is, with him gone, my life has changed - and I will forever try to bring about optimism and live life the way he would have wanted us to live it by. Life can make that a difficult statement to follow through with. But I will do it.

Once these exams are over with, I can then fully relax. And I have also made a promise to myself, to revisit that park soon inshallah. Yeah... I might just do that. Perhaps I just need to delve in the happiness endowed from the lovely memories associated it and just let it be. Maybe by trying to do these little things, it will help me get by, even on the most dreary looking days. :)

I was feeling blue whilst studying. But I vented and I feel better and lighter. Hey, my uni was right. This blog shenanigans does really work.

Well love, peace & productivity people

Rainy musings.

I'm standing beside my living room window and I'm clutched to the warm heater. It's so cosy. I am studying on the dining table, learning the muscles of the forearm. It's relatively difficult, because they are so many to learn. I am still struggling to pronounce the coracobrachialis muscle. I don't even think that is how it's spelled. So, I've been sitting there continuously repeating it like a plank, and unfortunately - I am still unsuccessful because it's such a mouthful! Blah... at least my flashcards are looking bright and pretty. But, I'm sorry flash cards but my attention is constantly being diverted.

Because it is raining.

I love the rain. Many others dislike it because they feel it brings about a state of melancholy and gloominess. But I find so much comfort in watching, and just listening to the sound of the rain drops fall, one by one. It is sort of like a refuge for me, much like a momentary sanctuary. I can unwind and I feel like it just provides an opportunity to sit back and reflect deeply upon things.

On days like this, I feel to walk outside and just relish in it. Lift my hands up high and twirl around - enjoying even the greyest of days. People back home in Pakistan, are walloped with excitement when clouds begin to come in. I remember my little cousins running up to the open roof, at the top of the house and just revelling in it, coming back in soaking wet. But, the mere enjoyment and thrill they sought from it, their faces all gleaming - was just priceless.

Ah rainy days, hot chocolate and muscle learning on a wednesday afternoon. I loveth it.

Okay... I've just completely trailed off, talking about rain. Well, I guess this will be an educational blog, intertwined with my random emotional turmoils. Haha.

Okay my fellow peeps, back to anatomy I go

Toodles!

A fascinating video on cells.

Cells remind me of yorkshire puddings.

So, I thought I'd start off with the most important aspect considered in Biology.

CELLS.

The cell is the fundamental organizational unit of life. Every living thing is composed of cells. Anything that is not made of cells, are just mere chemicals.

We as human beings, are made up of groups of cells which as a result, make up the different systems that are built within our body.



Cells, you are just so beautiful.

In fact, let me tell you a few interesting facts about cells before delving in to all the whole cell malarchy!

So... :)

1. The longest cell in your body is the motor neuron cell, which is located in the spinal cord.
2. It is believed that there are more nerve cells in your brain than stars in the milky way. WOW!
3. There are more bacterial cells in the body than human cells. (Crazy right?)
4. Cells commit suicide. Yep, they kill themselves.
5. There are anywhere from 75 to 100 trillion cells in our body.

I shall try to break it down and relate some funny examples with each one if possible. I'm going to do this all from memory, so do excuse any mistakes within what is written. 

Some reoccurring cell structures & and their functions:

The organelles (a term used for specialised structures within a cell) can be split into two categories:

Membrane bound

• Plasma membrane: Acts as the boundary between both the inside & the outside of the cell, and therefore controls the entry and exit of the cell. It also maintains the cells integrity. It does this as the membrane is well built, by being made up of two layers. These two layers contain phospholipids with embedded proteins. It's much like the top layer of ferrero rocher. You know the nutty layer on the top, protecting that delicious ball of chocolate underneath. Just imagine the nuts, as the phospholipids - constructing that divine membrane that it is. Yeah, like that. Mhmmmm... chocolate *Drools*.

• Endoplasmic reticulum: There are two types of endoplasmic reticulum. The first is rough endoplasmic reticulum (RER) and ribosomes that are attached to rough RER synthesise proteins - which then exit the cell via another organelle, called the Golgi apparatus. The smooth endoplasmic reticulum synthesises lipids. These lipids make up cell membranes, steroid hormones and certain carbohydrates (in order to form certain glycoproteins).

Rough endoplasmic reticulum



Smooth endoplasmic reticulum

• Golgi apparatus: Synthesises carbohydrates and binds them with the proteins that have been passed on previously from the endoplasmic reticulum. The Golgi apparatus packages the product and turns the final product in to a glycoprotein, which then eventually leaves the cell. It's much like an assembly line found in a factory, where items such as yummy Doritos, are in there final stage and are packaged before they are sent out of the factory, for their deliveries to Sainsbury's or Tescos or Walmart (as you fellow Americans would call it).

• Lysosomes: Is much considered like Dettol in my eyes, it reminds me much like an anti-septic. Lysosomes are specialised vesicles and contains enzymes that digests things, such as food, organelles or when cells die. They break down and digest structures within a cell, by releasing there enzymes on them. They are just so gangster yo!

• Peroxisomes: Are much like lysosomes. They also contain enzymes that eliminate any harmful substances. The main difference found between lysosomes and peroxisomes, is that lysosomes contain a different type of enzyme, to those found in Peroxisomes. Peroxisomes also work best in oxygen rich areas, whereas lysosomes, can work in oxygen poor areas.

Perioxisomes

• Mitochondria: They are considered the "power houses" of the cell. Much like a battery. But a trillion times better than them Duracell batteries. Oh yeah. Majority of the chemical reactions that take place during cellular respiration occur within the mitochondria and therefore contribute in ATP synthesis. The amount of mitochondria varies from cell to cell. Some cells that require high amounts of energy will need more mitochondria (such as muscle cells) and others in comparison, will need less mitochondria (such as nerve cells - to carry out nerve impulses). Mitochondria are made up of two membranes. The outer membrane covers the outside of the organelle, whilst the inner layer folds over repeatedly and these folds are called the cristae. The folding of the cristae provides a larger surface area, and therefore allows more chemical reactions to take place more easily and more readily. Inside the inner membrane, there is a fluid filled sac called the matrix.

So just try and think of it like this. The outer wrapper of the batteries is much like the outer membrane. And the silver, metal part in the middle that you see, could be considered the matrix (within the inner membrane).

Mitochondrian

• Nucleus: It's functions remind me of my mum. No really they do. Haha. They command the cell to do everything. They know everything that goes on within the cell, nothing slips past the nucleas. Oh no it doesn't. They are basically, like the godfathers of the cell. Okay, so before we start not all cells contain a nucleus. The ones that do, are called eukaryotic cells, and those that don't are called prokaryotic cells (much like those mother rebels) haha.

The nucleus, also has a membrane like the cell membrane. Although it's not a membrane really. It's called a nuclear envelope, and it surrounds the nucleus and all it's contents. Inside the nuclear envelope contains the chromatins (which is made of DNA, RNA and nuclear proteins) and also, contains the nucleolus inside. So in other words, it houses the genetic code, which in turn controls protein synthesis. This is incredibly important as it plays a role in lots of other activities that take place in cells - such as metabolism and growth.

Non-membrane bound organelles:

• Ribosomes: They remind me of builders. Them really good polish dudes that are amazing at what they do. Ribosomes are needed to make proteins. They are the main site for protein synthesis. They can be found in various places within a cell, either randomly lying within a cell a cells cytoplasm - where the proteins made, would essentially be used for the inside of the cell only, or it can also be found attached on to the RER (rough endoplasmic reticulum) and the constructed proteins can be used either inside or exported out of the cell.

The ribosome is made up of two subunits, the 60s subunit and the 40s subunit. When the ribosome wants to make a protein, mRNA (made from the nucleus) is sent to the ribosome and attaches on to the subunits. Which in turn, starts protein synthesis.

Ribosomes. Yeah they look weird, I know. 

• Cytoskeleton: Reminds me much like the wires that hold a bridge together (the ones found on the side of the bridge). If you think about it, the clue is within the name, when you think of cyto- you know it's something regarding cells, and a skeleton acts much like the human body's support or framework. This is the same concept found within cells. The cytoskeleton acts like a mesh work to support the cell and all of it's organelles. It also plays a role within the cells movement.

Cytoskeleton

• Nucleolus: Plays an essential role in the formation of ribosomes & is found within the nucleus. It's much like Lindor chocolate, that round ball found in the middle, (the one that tickles your taste buds) is the nucleolus and the outside layer is just that hard layer of chocolate (the nucleus).

A walk in to my world.

First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Zaynab. This is probably the first time I have ever attempted to write about myself. So, my brain is frazzled as to what I should write.

Well, I am in my first year of osteopathic medical school. I have always wanted to pursue a field in the medical profession, but I knew that I wanted my career prospects to hold a practical grasp, something other than sitting at a desk, writing away. I have always had an underlying passion for biology, human biology mostly, and this profession seemed to fit the criteria scope perfectly, by confining large biological breadth and physically being able to palpate and work on the body structures. Words cannot even begin to describe how much I love what I've chosen to do. Yes challenging could be considered an understatement. There is a huge amount of work to cover, especially as it is an integrated masters degree, but regardless of the time and hard work put in to it, the main thing is that I enjoy every second of it. Alhumdulilah.

So I grew up in an environment, where I was spurred to nothing else, but making my mum proud. My life so far, has definetely not been all daisies and sunshines. But I know I wish to pursue many things within my lifetime. I have an additional 5 degrees already planned for the future haha. No really I do. Because there's so many different things I wish to experience and to increase my knowledge further and further. I sound like my dad right now. But, he undeniably, encouraged my inquisitive thought of mind. He himself, collected hundreds of books and never hindered his questions or rather his train of thought. He always took an in interest in various unrelated things. Such as, gardening, health, music, business. These little attributes that he held, have not only been instilled in me, but I think within all my siblings. And, it seems the more I seem to grow up, the more kindred aspects I discover within him and I.

The reason I have chosen to write about him when writing 'about me' is purely because he, although no longer present, has made an impact on the way I go about things. Why I yearn to accomplish something in my life, not only for my own well being. But for my parents, my dad, and especially my mum - who has struggled a great deal.

A passion for biology resides within me so I will be writing some things up. Woo. Release all. those splendid endorphins (yay!) and maybe even gain some self-fulfilment out of it. (Yes, I have a philosophical side too.) But, really I am hoping it will help me, in my studies by sharing some knowledge and also because I enjoy talking about my learnt experiences .

So... I'm a fat lump that procrastinates ton the computer. The time spent on the computer, is nothing else but unproductivity taking place. If that's even a word. Is that even a word?  But nonetheless, I'm excited for this blog. What a thrilling adventure it shall be. Well, okay then. Where to start...