The pen is mightier than the sword.

Change of circumstances.
Change of opinions.
Change of beliefs.
Changed person?

Yes.

Much has changed. Summer has passed. Autumn is mid-way and I have literally just abandoned my blog...

I have lost a few loved ones, and in return well... I haven't gained any new people in my life. But, I have definitely generated more of an understanding for WHY people come and go and how we take from these experiences.

I've had to endure stresses this summer as per usual... nothing new there. But this year, I really have taken a lot from it. Many people that I thought were there for me... simply aren't. I've had one person re-enter my life, someone that's dear to me, it's like a long lost friend found. It's comforting.

They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Ditto... I agree. People change opinions by experiences and the lessons learnt from it, NOT by people forcing you to mould your opinion in certain way. Why do people not understand this concept? It is beyond me. But you know what? I'm glad I have had to bear these hardships. I am. Now I value the minority that are there for me even more and those that truly understand me as a person. Of course, not everyone in life will understand you, but such is life.

To think outside the box you have to first remove yourself from it.  We really do tend to define our options by the environment we find ourselves in. To truly be aware of our potential and set aside what is truly important, one must set aside the norms and search for the exceptions. And by that I mean, sadly there are those that are so entrenched in seeing negativity reap, that they leave no room for any positive growth. A lot of people like to stir up controversy in life, it's happened a lot to me in the past. But if you stay out of their drama and don't needlessly create your own, you can never buy in to their propaganda and outlandish antics, which is essentially what makes a person so emotionally drained. Trust me, I know.

Practice gratitude for both the good and the bad. Either way it's beneficial. 

Peace and love to all <3

Summery beginning.

I'm sitting outside the front porch. The sun is glimmering to it's full potential, there is warmth and a delicate breeze. I haven't felt this good with the sun out in a long time. But of course I am also accompanied with revising for physiology. Yeah, I'm slumbered with my books on this marvellous day. Sob sob. But I guess it's not so much of a disaster, the sun is still out.

I'm still a happy bunny!

I also done a little henna floral pattern on myself today. It's been eons since I done a design on myself, because I'm always busy doing it on others. It felt good though.

Good grief I am dreading the exam next Monday.. I'm back at uni on Tuesday as well. Honestly I do not know how a whole month of holidays has just fleeted by. I really did not get time to myself to just relax. It's the doleful chronicles mate. Hahaha

Anywhos, I just thought I'd write a quick post.

Back to hormone learning!
Farewell

Perplexed feelings.

I'm revising for my upcoming physiology exam in my room. The light should be on, but I've put the lamp on dim, and kept the balcony door open. It's mildly breezy and quite chilly actually - but most definitely refreshing.

I'm in a peculiar mood. It could be considered feeling mellow and chilled, or completely jaded. I'm not particulary sure. Or it could just simply be the cause of finding repetitive, daily tasks completely mundane. Ha. That's just the way I'm feeling right about now, an odd fusion of emotions.

I do love learning about biology and such and such. But today. Today, is just not the day. I feel to just push everything aside and BREATHE. Does that sound weird? Well I don't give a monkeys how it sounds. This blog is meant for me to update all my feelings and experiences whilst studying, and this is one of them.

You know what I feel to do? Stay awake until sunrise and just walk along Roundwood park and pelt bread pieces at the birds, breathe in fresh, smooth, dawn air. You know it's funny, my dad never failed to horde loafs of breads to every park we visited. Even though I have now just realised, dad was breaking the law and that it's illegal to feed the birds and ducks lol.

I have been really missing him today... more than is humanly possible.

I've only been to roundwood park thrice since dad passed away. The previous occasions I have done so, I feel overwhelmed with emptiness and sorrowful nostalgia returns. Every inch of that park has reoccurring memories. Fond, blissful memories. When I think of the future and the endless places I want to take my kids, this is always the first to sway at the top of the hierarchy. I hope to take my kids every weekend, just like my dad did with us. Definitely something I shall be doing, hopefully.

I don't know why I'm even talking about this. I wish I had something profound, or poignant to say. Perhaps even an anecdote to convey how 'one should refrain from being slumped with grief, with the loss of a loved one'. But I don't. The only thing I have to say is, with him gone, my life has changed - and I will forever try to bring about optimism and live life the way he would have wanted us to live it by. Life can make that a difficult statement to follow through with. But I will do it.

Once these exams are over with, I can then fully relax. And I have also made a promise to myself, to revisit that park soon inshallah. Yeah... I might just do that. Perhaps I just need to delve in the happiness endowed from the lovely memories associated it and just let it be. Maybe by trying to do these little things, it will help me get by, even on the most dreary looking days. :)

I was feeling blue whilst studying. But I vented and I feel better and lighter. Hey, my uni was right. This blog shenanigans does really work.

Well love, peace & productivity people

Rainy musings.

I'm standing beside my living room window and I'm clutched to the warm heater. It's so cosy. I am studying on the dining table, learning the muscles of the forearm. It's relatively difficult, because they are so many to learn. I am still struggling to pronounce the coracobrachialis muscle. I don't even think that is how it's spelled. So, I've been sitting there continuously repeating it like a plank, and unfortunately - I am still unsuccessful because it's such a mouthful! Blah... at least my flashcards are looking bright and pretty. But, I'm sorry flash cards but my attention is constantly being diverted.

Because it is raining.

I love the rain. Many others dislike it because they feel it brings about a state of melancholy and gloominess. But I find so much comfort in watching, and just listening to the sound of the rain drops fall, one by one. It is sort of like a refuge for me, much like a momentary sanctuary. I can unwind and I feel like it just provides an opportunity to sit back and reflect deeply upon things.

On days like this, I feel to walk outside and just relish in it. Lift my hands up high and twirl around - enjoying even the greyest of days. People back home in Pakistan, are walloped with excitement when clouds begin to come in. I remember my little cousins running up to the open roof, at the top of the house and just revelling in it, coming back in soaking wet. But, the mere enjoyment and thrill they sought from it, their faces all gleaming - was just priceless.

Ah rainy days, hot chocolate and muscle learning on a wednesday afternoon. I loveth it.

Okay... I've just completely trailed off, talking about rain. Well, I guess this will be an educational blog, intertwined with my random emotional turmoils. Haha.

Okay my fellow peeps, back to anatomy I go

Toodles!

A walk in to my world.

First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Zaynab. This is probably the first time I have ever attempted to write about myself. So, my brain is frazzled as to what I should write.

Well, I am in my first year of osteopathic medical school. I have always wanted to pursue a field in the medical profession, but I knew that I wanted my career prospects to hold a practical grasp, something other than sitting at a desk, writing away. I have always had an underlying passion for biology, human biology mostly, and this profession seemed to fit the criteria scope perfectly, by confining large biological breadth and physically being able to palpate and work on the body structures. Words cannot even begin to describe how much I love what I've chosen to do. Yes challenging could be considered an understatement. There is a huge amount of work to cover, especially as it is an integrated masters degree, but regardless of the time and hard work put in to it, the main thing is that I enjoy every second of it. Alhumdulilah.

So I grew up in an environment, where I was spurred to nothing else, but making my mum proud. My life so far, has definetely not been all daisies and sunshines. But I know I wish to pursue many things within my lifetime. I have an additional 5 degrees already planned for the future haha. No really I do. Because there's so many different things I wish to experience and to increase my knowledge further and further. I sound like my dad right now. But, he undeniably, encouraged my inquisitive thought of mind. He himself, collected hundreds of books and never hindered his questions or rather his train of thought. He always took an in interest in various unrelated things. Such as, gardening, health, music, business. These little attributes that he held, have not only been instilled in me, but I think within all my siblings. And, it seems the more I seem to grow up, the more kindred aspects I discover within him and I.

The reason I have chosen to write about him when writing 'about me' is purely because he, although no longer present, has made an impact on the way I go about things. Why I yearn to accomplish something in my life, not only for my own well being. But for my parents, my dad, and especially my mum - who has struggled a great deal.

A passion for biology resides within me so I will be writing some things up. Woo. Release all. those splendid endorphins (yay!) and maybe even gain some self-fulfilment out of it. (Yes, I have a philosophical side too.) But, really I am hoping it will help me, in my studies by sharing some knowledge and also because I enjoy talking about my learnt experiences .

So... I'm a fat lump that procrastinates ton the computer. The time spent on the computer, is nothing else but unproductivity taking place. If that's even a word. Is that even a word?  But nonetheless, I'm excited for this blog. What a thrilling adventure it shall be. Well, okay then. Where to start...

First blog post with jacket potato & beans.

How I ended up here.

To be frank, today was the first time it had even occurred to me to make a blog. 

So earlier, I was completing a personal development plan for university and we had to write about 4 goals we hope to achieve, how we are going to measure the success of our aim and the evidence we should have to show as proof of our success.

We were told that making a blog would be an ideal way to record our whole emotional journey and all other experiences felt during our studies. Also, based on my results from the skills audit, I realised the area I needed to improve was my communication skills with others and being able to explain scientific concepts to them clearly and concisely Now, I know of this already. Sometimes, people ask me to explain things to them and I always seem to end up in a bit of a mouthful rut, where I am left prodding the surrender flag like an nitwit, and them in turn, left looking baffled. So, in order to execute my goal in a more fun, interactive way, making a blog seemed like the right choice. In other words, I shall be going all pinky and the brain upon this project. Muahahahaha

Okay, evil phase over.

In actuality, I have always wanted to share my passion with others and be able to relay valuable information to them, so I can further consolidate the knowledge I have, as well as helping and sharing information with others. Thus, Zaynab ended up here. Maybe this is the way. On blogger.com...